angerliz: we should really all get on redefining the term “friendzone” and making it awesome like YO MARIE YOU WANNA FRIENDZONE FOR A BIT AND TALK, I COULD BE DOWN IN THE ZONE OH NO DUDE SO I MET THIS CHICK AT A PARTY AND IT TURNS OUT SHE WASN’T INTO ME BUT IT’S TOTALLY OK, GOT FRIENDZONED SO HARD, WE’RE GONNA DO STARBUCKS LATER THIS WEEK AND TALK COMICS PLATONICALLY and no one was ever a...
AZULA SAYS THE BEST SHIT
Azula: Do the tides command this ship?
Fire Nation Navy ship captain: I'm afraid I don't understand.
Azula: You said the tides would not allow us to bring the ship in. Do the tides command this ship?
Fire Navy ship captain: No, Princess.
Azula: And if I were to have you thrown overboard, would the tides think twice about smashing you against the rocky shore?
Fire Navy ship captain: No, Princess.
Azula: Well then, maybe you should worry less about the tides, who've already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who's still mulling it over.
Azula: You mean you haven't guessed? You don't see the family resemblance? Here's a hint. [Covers left eye with her hand, imitating Zuko.] I must find the Avatar to restore my honor.
Aang: [Stares with blank face.]
Azula: It's okay. You can laugh. It's funny
Long Feng: Now comes the part where I double-cross you. Dai Li, arrest the Fire Nation Princess. [The Dai Li do not respond. Long Feng turns to them, frowning, and points at Azula.] I said, arrest her. [Looks back and forth at the agents and loses his patience.] What is wrong with you?
Azula: It's because they haven't made up their minds. They're waiting to see how this is going to end.
Long Feng: What are you talking about?
Azula: I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing. So you had to struggle and connive and claw your way to power. But true power...the divine right to rule...is something you're born with. The fact is, they don't know which one of us is going to be sitting on that thrown and which one is going to be bowing down. But I know. And you know. [Long Feng begins to sweat. His face is full of hesitation and uncertainty. Azula sits on the Earth King's throne and crosses her legs.] Well?
Long Feng: [Bows down to Azula.] You've beaten me at my own game.
Azula: Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player.
Azula: That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an Empire-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. Because ... it's so sharp.
Chan: Ummm ... Thaaanks.
Chan: You're pretty.
Azula: Together you and I will be the strongest couple in the entire world! We will dominate the earth!
[Zuko is standing before a huge portrait of Fire Lord Sozin.]
Azula: It's never too early for a sitting with the court painter, Zuko. [Sarcastically.] Make sure he gets your good side.
Aang: Where is he?! Where's the Fire Lord?!
Azula: Hmm. You mean I'm not good enough for you? You're hurting my feelings.
Sokka: Stop wasting our time and give us the information! You're powerless, so you're in no position to refuse.
Toph: And stick to the truth. I'll be able to tell if you're lying.
Azula: Are you sure? I'm a pretty good liar. I am a 400 foot tall purple platypus-bear with pink horns and silver wings.
Toph: Okay, you're good, I admit it
Toph: You're trying to keep us here and waste all our time!
Azula: Right. I think your friend just said that, genius. And since you can't see, I should tell you, I'm rolling my eyes.
Toph : I'll roll your whole head!
Azula: Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way!even you fear me..
Mai: I guess you don't know people as well as you think you do. You miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you.
Azula: No! YOU miscalculated! You should have feared me more!
poledanceronomega: y’all that lesbian military homecoming kiss photo is a faberry/glee shoop just fyi not that it really matters i guess i’m just saying Oh, god damn it. looooool
electripants: butts-the-cat: “the new pokémon designs are so dumb gen one has the only good designs” Gen I had a Pokémon whose forehead is a flaming ass.
everthorne: judas was creepy as fuck
sinidentidades: “I’m going to put all the religious books in the fiction section,” the young, white atheist whispers to themselves in a bookstore. “That’ll show them.” They smile and look to a copy of The God Delusion on a shelf. “It’s all for you,” they think to themselves with a single tear streaming down their face.
Korra: Congrats on being a pro-bender again Tahno.
Tahno: Can I pro-bend you over the back of my couch in gratitude
canieatthisshit: consequentialism: if i had a dollar for every time i was a third wheel
cosmo tip #286
expertcosmotips: take ur sexy striptease a step further by peeling all ur flesh off
Woman gives birth
Woman: I think I'll name her Sara.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but that name's already taken.. May I suggest Sara89 or Sara_13?
It is a grave injustice to a child or adult to insist that they stop crying. One...– Alexander Lowen, The Voice of the Body (via bookmarrow)